Holiday gift suggestions
for the desperate (2003)December 2, 2003 -- It's that time of year again, and if you're like me, you got all your holiday shopping done in November. And did it all online. Nyah, nyah, nyah. But it's not too late to get your act together -- assuming, of course, that you do it now. Here are a few ideas.
My biggest purchase for a lucky loved one was an Archos Jukebox Recorder. This 20GB portable hard drive may be a bit clunkier than the popular iPod. But it holds hundreds of albums in MP3 form, has no annoying copying restrictions, and comes with durable nickel metal hydride (NiMH) rechargable batteries. Best of all, there's no special software needed -- you can drag and drop files using the Windows Explorer, or even record directly into the device. And the price, after rebate, is a sweet $159. Get 'em while you can. There's a newer model I haven't tried but I happily recommend the old one. I use a variation of it myself.
While traveling this year I carried my Archos along with TDK's I'MASPEAKER, a flat-panel speaker that runs on a couple of AA batteries. It also doubles as a CD carrier. Sounded quite decent in my hotel room and it's only 20 bucks.
Another on-the-go product I drop into my luggage from time to time is the Tivoli PAL, which stands for Portable Audio Laboratory. OK, it's a fanciful name for a radio, but it's a great little radio, and runs on rechargable NiMH batteries (included).
Oregon Scientific makes a number of ingenious products. I consult my OS indoor/outdoor thermometer all the time. Now there's a wireless version that you can use without stringing cable through a window crack. Modern civilization advances, step by step.
As a home theater expert I'm always being asked for audio/video hardware suggestions. One of my favorite compact satellite/subwoofer speaker packages remains available, and even though I recommended the Velodyne Deco last year, I'm pleased to do so again. Great sound, especially the tough little sub.
Need a great receiver? I love my Rotel RSX-1065, though you can't buy it online, and it costs $1999. But the Kenwood VR-7070 is a good budget model with THX Select certification (which ensures that it meets certain technical benchmarks).
Here's the big enchilada: If you want to buy your loved one a flat-panel TV -- and really, aren't you buying this for yourself? -- Sharp has an excellent track record in liquid crystal displays. Its 30-inch LC-37HV4U LCD-HDTV is sure to bring a smile to the most jaded face (after the initial "how much did you spend on this?" panic).
If you're shopping for someone with an SACD player, one of the most popular classic rock albums of all time has just come out in that format with a new surround mix: Pink Floyd's haunting Dark Side of the Moon. It has a stereo CD layer and therefore will also play fine on a standard CD machine. The new Steely Dan album Everything Must Go is available in multi-channel DVD-Audio, and its compressed alternate track will play on any DVD-Video player. Finally, if you just want a plain CD, try the new edition of Let It Be ... Naked by the Beatles -- a back-to-basics remix without the Phil Spector orchestrations of the old mix (which remains available in its original form).
Oh, almost forgot. If your loved one is a budding home theater buff, the third edition of my book Practical Home Theater: A Guide to Video and Audio Systems is full of helpful information. You can order it through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other online retailers -- or just call 1stBooks at 800-839-8640.
One more bit of advice: 'Tis the season of shipping chaos. So while offers of free shipping from Amazon and other retailers may seem enticing, it would be a mistake to choose ground shipping in the last two weeks before the holiday. If you're really shopping at the last minute, spend a little extra for two-day (or even overnight) shipping when ordering the most significant items for the nearest and dearest. Then use tracking numbers to follow the progress of your packages and nag the shipping services if they don't arrive on time.
Third edition hits the streets
October 14, 2003 -- The third edition of my book Practical Home Theater: A Guide to Video and Audio Systems is now out. Annual updates make my book different from all other books on home theater. The 2004 Edition includes new material about cable-ready digital televisions, digital room correction, and many small changes throughout the text to keep you on top of the latest in home theater technology. Because my book is published via print-on-demand technology, the transition is seamless -- now that the new edition is available, the old one just disappears. However, some booksellers may be carrying small amounts of old stock for the next few weeks, so to be on the safe side, order from the website of 1stBooks or one of the major online retailers. You can also special-order the book from your local bookstore or call 1stBooks at 800-839-8640.
Fleischmann quits CA race
September 7, 2003 -- I regret to announce that I am quitting the race for governor of California. My reasons are as follows.
- I don't live in California.
- I'm not rugged enough to survive a quake.
- Governors have to get up early.
- My muscles are not large enough.
- I want an easier state, like North Dakota.
- Too far from Zabar's.
- As a journalist my income from bribery is higher.
- Politics are too hard.
- The state capitol is not in San Francisco.
- Serving out my term would prevent me from running for president.
Where I was when the lights went out
NEW YORK, August 18, 2003 -- The last thing I did before power failed across the northeastern U.S. and Canada was plug in a set of surround speakers for a magazine review. Then the lights went out and I thought: "These speakers rock!"
Only after 20 minutes of fussing with fuses did I realize that my building's hallways, and indeed the entire neighborhood, had also gone dark. Then my thoughts turned from fuses to battery-powered objects.
I quickly scrounged up a worldband radio, stuffed it with AAs, and anxiously monitored the news. After two hours this got dull so I grabbed a book and read until sundown. My windows turned to faint blue rectangles lit only by moon and star light.
By this time I had also located a supply of fresh batteries -- half of which were Toshiba rechargables -- plus a flashlight, an MP3 hard-drive-based music player with a freshly charged 18-hour battery, and a peculiar product recently introduced by TDK.
The TDK I'MASPEAKER ($19.99) is a flat-panel speaker built into a CD player/disc carry case. I fed it two more AAs from my battery supply and plugged in the Toshiba MEG50AS Mobilphile player.
The multiple alarm clocks of Pink Floyd's "Time" rang out of the speaker, and to my surprise, I'MASPEAKER sounded pretty good. When I placed it (with the MP3 player safely tucked inside) atop a stack of books in the corner of the room, bouncing sound from the speaker off the walls and ceiling, the sound became fuller and more mellifluous.
I spent the evening guzzling from a plentiful supply of increasingly less cold drinks while listening to MP3 files of some scratchy vinyl featuring Joao Carlos Martins playing Bach's "Well Tempered Clavier." It sounded beautiful in the dark, but after stepping on something furry and highly aggrieved -- a black cat has it tough in an unlit room -- I switched to candlelight.
At midnight I checked the radio for news updates and went to bed. At 5.30 in the morning the apartment's overhead lights snapped back on, awakening me out of a sound sleep, less than 14 hours after the power had died.
Con Edison restored power moving from the north on down, relieving my uptown neighborhood before reaching the rest of Manhattan. This showed an admirable sense of priorities.
Watermelons terrorize suburban town
NEW ROCHELLE, NY, July 22, 2003 -- Remember when terrorism involved ordinary things like guns and bombs? Someone's just upped the ante.
In New Rochelle, a suburb of New York City, an unknown artist is festooning the town's business district with images of watermelons. The natives are understandably perturbed.
Local newspapers have covered the story -- regrettably, without pictures. But local TV newscasts have shown footage of the charmingly schematic melons, and for this report, I've taken a stab at reproducing one with Microsoft Paint.
So far this is my favorite news story of the year.
This just in: The watermelon artist has been caught. A 17 year old nicknamed Melon, he says he favored his surroundings with fruit as a tribute to a woman. Ah, romance. He had an accomplice who carried the ladder. And when the police and courts are through with him, there's a job waiting for him at a local art gallery.
Underwear spree triggers web outage
July 15, 2003 -- How can $500 worth of women's underwear lead to a website disappearing from the net? Strange to say, it has just happened to me.
It all started during a business trip to San Francisco. After I'd made a few purchases with my Discover Card (can't beat those cash-back bonuses) the card suddenly stopped working.
When I got back home I found a series of frantic voicemails from the Discover Card people. Several suspicious charges to my account had led them to suspend it.
This was quite sensible of them. Whoever bought that $500 worth of lingerie from an Internet merchant, it wasn't me. (I look better in maternity dresses.)
The matter was quickly sorted out and a new Discover Card was issued. Meanwhile, however, some pending purchases made with the old card got held up until I provided an alternate card number. One of those purchases was the domain registration renewal for www.practicalhometheater.com, the website that promotes my book.
The people at Yahoo Domains pulled my site offline for a week -- without even bothering to send me an email about the credit card problem. This was not at all sensible of them, and I have told them so repeatedly.
It was a week before I discovered the error. Not only was my site offline, costing me book sales -- I also missed a week of email sent through the domain. Apologies to any readers who have tried to get in touch and had their emails bounced back.
Anyway, Yahoo Domains has my new card number, the site is back online, and somewhere in America someone is still waiting for that massive and illicitly ordered shipment of dainty underthings.
The music industry declares war on you
June 26, 2003 -- The music industry has come up with its most brilliant marketing plan yet: Buy our products or we'll sue you.
This is the best idea the industry has come up with since EMI paid Mariah Carey $21 million not to make any more records. Now you know why record company executives (and their lobbyists) get the big bucks!
They're not into dull things like improving the selection. Or lowering the price. Or mixing surround soundtracks for DVD-Audio and SACD. No, they want to send a message.
To the dwindling number of consumers still buying their products they're saying: Keep your money in your pocket. We don't want your business, now or ever.
And to their conglomerate higher-ups they're saying: Fire us. We are bereft of ideas. We cannot handle the most basic aspect of our jobs -- and that's to develop new music -- so instead we fritter away money on idiotic legal maneuvers.
As an AOL Time Warner shareholder I demand that the company's music division withdraw from the Recording Industry Association of America and refrain from supporting this asinine series of anti-consumer lawsuits.
The music industry seems to have forgotten that it thrived the most during the 1960s and '70s when it spent money to develop countless emerging bands -- not to mention recording the major symphony orchestras and a variety of chamber and jazz groups.
When there is so much music walking around and waiting to be recorded, it is a waste of resources to file frivolous lawsuits. The industry would be better off if it paid less money to its attorneys and more in advances (and royalties) to musicians.
Lawyers don't make music.
Shut up and read Ian Rankin
May 29, 2003 -- Everyone here in the northeast has been complaining for months about the weather. Spring in New York ... it's raining ... what a surprise. But grey weather is good for my skin, and without it, the flowers and trees wouldn't be nearly as fragrant and bushy. Frequent rain is part of living in a green climate. What's wrong with that? I much prefer it to living in a desert. So all you people complaining about the weather: SHUT UP AND READ A BOOK.
An excellent place to start would be Ian Rankin's Let It Bleed. The Scottish author's 1996 novel is one of the stronger entries in his series featuring Inspector John Rebus of the Edinburgh CID. The plot kicks off with three suicides and progresses from there to murder most foul and political intrigues still fouler. It's safe to assume that the title is a Rolling Stones reference -- Rebus is a major fan. Oh, and he has a major toothache, too.
What I love about Rankin and Rebus is that they're so steadfastly downbeat. Rebus is more than the prototypical hard-drinking cop who defies his superiors and breaks the rules. He's a lightning rod for the human condition, a character who keeps you turning the pages and reminds you of how good (and bad) it is to be alive ... rain and all. Yes, it rains in Scotland.
Want cable with that?
April 26, 2003 -- Bookstores are lousy places to sell books, publishing experts often say, so I'm pleased to announce a new addition to my list of nontraditional retailers. BetterCables.com is offering my book Practical Home Theater for $9.95 with the purchase of high-end audio or video cables. The offer includes free shipping for both the cables and the book. You must enter the coupon code PRACTICAL at checkout. If you would prefer to buy the book by itself -- no cables -- BetterCables.com will sell it to you for the list price of $19.95 plus Media Mail shipping. The book will also remain available from other online retailers -- such as Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Wal-Mart -- though pricing varies. For general information about the book see the ordering page.
The Dark Side of SACD
March 24, 2003 -- With today's release of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon on Super Audio CD, that high-resolution audio format takes another step forward -- and deals the biggest blow to the rival DVD-Audio format since the first half of the Rolling Stones catalogue came out on SACD.
Let's get a few things out of the way right now: The disc is a hybrid SACD/CD release, so it will play on any standard CD player, but will sound its best when played on an SACD player. Even if you don't own an SACD player (yet) I strongly advise you to buy the SACD/CD version. It's priced about the same as the older CD releases so you literally have nothing to lose. And you can distinguish it from the various prior CD releases by seeking out the stained-glass version of the famous prism cover. It looks somewhat like the original but the white border is a dead giveaway.
Naturally I played the disc as soon as I got home from New York's Hayden Planetarium, where Sony introduced the release in a major press event. The biggest difference is that the stereo original has been remixed to 5.1-channel surround sound. If you have a surround system, you'll love it. Producer James Guthrie, who appeared at the press event, took pains to seek out the original analog tapes of each component of each track, synchronize them perfectly, and thus create his new mix from the purest elements available. Since the band recorded in 16-track and effectively doubled the number of tracks to 32 by bouncing (copying) certain tracks, this was a lot more work than simply going back to the original master mix tape. The end result is faithful to the feeling of the original stereo mix but expands it into a 5.1-channel dreamscape with almost hallucinogenic qualities.
I was a Pink Floyd fan way before it became fashionable. My high-school music buddy hooked me with Ummagumma, in which chunks of overt weirdness swim in a swirling sea of space-rock. And I'm just as fond of Meddle, Dark Side's immediate predecessor, a more subtle but equally accomplished album. For a taste of Syd Barrett, Pink Floyd's original guitarist, songwriter, and lysergic casualty, you have to go back all the way to the first album, Piper at the Gates of Dawn. Hope these psychedelic masterpieces make to SACD too.
Miss Marple was never like this
March 5, 2003 -- I've always been addicted to mystery novels, especially the British kind, but I have the time and inclination only for strong storytelling and good writing. That's what I found in Val McDermid's A Place of Execution. The story concerns a girl who disappears from an obscure English village, the kind of insular place where only a dozen people live and most of them have the same two last names. McDermid turns this forbidding material into a long, well-plotted, perpetually surprising page turner with vivid, memorable characters. I liked it so much that I've gone on to read another half-dozen of her books (and counting). Another favorite is Killing the Shadows, in which McDermid meditates on the ethical dimensions of her grisly craft while telling a cracking good story about a series of murdered mystery authors.
The prolific McDermid -- who was born in a Scottish mining community and now lives in South Manchester -- has also written three distinct series. One concerns the partnership of criminal profiler Tony Hill and detective Carol Jordan. In McDermid's hands they come alive as flesh-and-blood people coping with the real-life situations, as friends and colleagues, without any spurious romance. McDermid draws powerful contrasting portraits of her psycho-killer antiheroes by interleaving their first-person journals.
Two earlier series hinge on distinctly feminist detectives, private eye Kate Brannigan and journalist Lindsay Gordon, the latter of whom might be a fictional version of McDermid herself, who quit newspaper reporting to become a novelist in the mid-1980s. The Brannigan series, written in the first person, is full of sparkling wit -- they're easily the funniest detective novels ever written.
If you've never read any British whodunits at all, you should start with the classics: Sherlock Holmes, Lord Peter Wimsey, Father Brown, etc. But much as I love the fantasy landscapes of the classics, especially their gaslit view of ancient London, McDermid writes about the world as it is today. I can't wait to devour the latest Hill/Jordan book, The Last Temptation, when it comes out in paperback.
Prewar reading
January 30, 2003 -- The drumbeat of war is getting louder and I'm burying my nose in books. One book that I think every schoolchild -- and adult -- should be reading right now is All Quiet on the Western Front, the definitive World War I novel by Erich Maria Remarque. I acquired my copy as part of the reading list for a long-ago college course. I also remember reading Goodbye to All That by Robert Graves (curiously unavailable from Amazon) and Journey to the End of the Night by Louis-Ferdinand Celine but it's Remarque's novel that's haunting me right now. Having just reread it, I'm now plunging into John Cheever ... it's easier than facing reality.
I live in a time capsule
(and I just don't care)
January 16, 2003 -- A boyhood friend turned me on to The Nice while we were playing Monopoly. So I don't particularly care if I lose my rock critic's license when I say that I've been a big fan ever since. Keyboardist Keith Emerson is better known for his later work with Emerson, Lake & Palmer though the Nice served as the prototype for a riotous and eclectic keyboard-driven band. That was back in 1967-70, a third of a century ago, so I was amazed and pleased to learn that these heroes of my youth have played a few reunion gigs. Along with the reunions there's a new band bio and a whole slew of archival and re-released recordings.
Three CDs of radio sessions have emerged over the last couple of years. There's some overlap between the new (and rather expensive) BBC Sessions CD and the previous America: The BBC Sessions but only the latter has the unique "St. Thomas," with lyrics by Roy Harper set to a tune by Sonny Rollins, and three-fifths of "The Five Bridges Suite" performed without orchestra. These compilations are for hardcore fans only; the uneven sound quality would put off anyone else. Just out is the Swedish Radio Sessions CD with 31 minutes of well-recorded material featuring the later-discarded guitarist Davy O'List.
The original five albums were The Thoughts of Emerlist Davjack, Ars Longa Vita Brevis, The Nice (untitled), The Five Bridges, and Elegy. All of the first three albums plus some live tracks and alternate versions are packaged on three CDs as Here Come the Nice.
However, the last three are the really indispensable ones. Sure, they're patchworks, but each contains blazing live tracks from the Fillmore East, recorded by Eddie Kramer, who also engineered a lot of classic Hendrix. The Five Bridges features an ambitious (and I'd say jolly successful) suite for rock band and orchestra -- soon to be updated as "The Seven Bridges." Evidently they've added a few bridges in Newcastle, which commissioned the original version. Elegy consists of four fat tracks with Emerson's best plucked-piano and Hammond organ playing ever.
Critics have ridiculed Emerson's gleeful demolitions of the European classics but I think they missed the spirit of irreverent fun that drove him. Likewise, Lee Jackson's singing has attracted some criticism, but while he may not have had Greg Lake's silver trumpet, he did have plenty of feeling and grit, and his half-growled half-spat performances of Dylan's "My Back Pages" and "She Belongs to Me" are certified rock classics. His full, round bass sound -- as unique as a fingerprint -- is showcased to best advantage on the Fillmore recordings. Drummer Brian Davison was perfectly capable of playing in the hyperactive Carl Palmer style, but the Nice emphasized his jazzy side, which gave the band much of its rollicking feel and drove Emerson's most freewheeling performances ever.
Keith Emerson went on to pioneer the use of the Moog synthesizer in a rock band with Emerson, Lake & Palmer and attracted a lot of new fans. But if you enjoy ELP, try the Nice. When I go to that proverbial desert island, my copy of Elegy goes with me. I hope the guys bring their reunion to New York.
Writer on the loose
January 3, 2003 -- Freelance at last, freelance at last, thank God Almighty I'm freelance at last (with apologies to Dr. King). Freelance writing writing was my main occupation in 2002, for the first time since 1998, when my erstwhile Internet publishing company was funded. Or should I say founded? In that case, go back to 1994, though the start of my freelance career was actually in 1986, when I left Video Magazine.
In any event, 2001 was the year when I put the ugliness and futility of Collaborative Media behind me. The first thing I did was write a book on home theater. I also continued my longterm relationship with Audio Video Interiors, was happy to find a former editor of AVI at Home Theater, and also began writing for the good folks at E-Gear. I even made a brief return to web publishing by writing a streaming-audio tutorial for andante.com. That set the stage for 2002, a full year as an independent writer, a return to normality.
In a few weeks Rolling Stone will publish my first story since 1998. Over the past few months I've handed in stories to Popular Science, Bloomberg Personal Finance, and (thanks to a former business partner) a new magazine called Custom Retailer. My quirkiest assignment of 2002 was a short blurb about my Chinese massage therapist for The Village Voice.
Writing is my favorite way of earning a living. I'm lucky that way. For a more complete look at my current and former contributions to magazines, newspapers, and books see the publications page. To buy my book, see the book page.
News 2002